Acceptance of Self

The most important step one needs to take is to accept the fact that every individual is a different person and he or she has the perfect right to be his or her original self. We are proud of having been bestowed with freedom of choice and so are others. It’s our job to accept people as they are. Others are not bound to change themselves so that they could fit in the periphery of our choices. All the people have a choice of being the way they want to and we must surrender to this fact.

We need to remember that world was never created to please each one of us. It also implies that we need to adjust to the surrounding reality and get in tune with the world. let me tell you how it works. The moment we prepare ourselves to accept others’ reality, we are no longer burdened with any sort of expectations. Give people the right to be themselves and you will find yourself getting rid of monkey off your back. Expectations also imply that we think we have control over others but in reality we just have control over one person; and that’s you. So whatever you feel, however you behave and react, take responsibility for each one of them. These things are entirely our problem. Let each one of us take complete ownership of these feelings and have their movements restricted within us. Don’t ever think of spreading around your mess. That way, you will always be dependent on others. Soon enough, you will make this your habit to assimilate your feelings in your inner being and you will find yourself happily accepting feelings, desires, anger, rage, frustration, wants and likewise. Gradually self control will be a part of your lovely habits and you will be enjoying them.

The Virtue of Self-Control

Self control is not a common virtue. Humans in general tend to react more than act. Our behavior is subject to how others are reacting instead of how we want ourselves to behave all certain situations. Imagine, someone mimicking you in a group and everyone is laughing, imagine the drive on the road is driving too recklessly or slowly and because of that you are feeling perturbed, imagine your beloved nagging you n trifle issues and you feel all stressed up. So what happened in these conditions? The behavior of other people is driving your emotional and behavioral pattern. You are not in control of your own self.

Thinking of it, do we really have any control over what others think, behave, act or say? We don’t and we can not have. The point is, then we do we indulge in cribbing and screaming out other’s behavior? The anxiety caused by them is unintentional and yet who is getting affected? You and you alone. Sometimes, one even needs to visit a doctor because of the stress caused by others. So wouldn’t it be better for us to just accept the way people behave? One can not control others but yes we can have complete control over our reactions. It would not be such a great idea to have our life dependent on other’s reactions. People often complain about how others are unreasonable, unfair and that causes them stress and anxiety. So why not start some self-control measures and save yourself from similar fate.

Believing in yourself

“Believe in yourself” is one of the most common phrases that people hear all around; in books, in conversations, in stories, in television etc. This is because of the power that the meaning of these three words carries. Most famous personalities have believed in themselves and their philosophies right from Mahatma Gandhi ( On of the most respected of Indian freedom fighters ) to Barack Obama. Untill and unless, you have a strong conviction inside you, success is far away.

Even in organizations, people who rise to the top are people who believe in themselves. They have the power to give something new to the organization. They have the will and the determination to carry the organization in the right direction. Because people who believe in themselves are self motivated, they tend to be good leaders. They are in fact successful in the corporate training of employees in the organization.

Even a homemaker needs to believe in her actions to manage her tasks successfully. She believes that she can multi-task, she believes that she can carry on all her activities on time. It is this strong conviction that drives you to achieve what you want to. There are many people who always feel that they will not be able to do a particular task. This in itself is a de-motivating factor. There may be some genuine tasks that you may not be able to do. In other cases, you are able to achieve a lot by simply believing in yourself.

What did President Obama philosophize: Yes we can. What is this? Nothing but a strong belief in self that it is you who can make change happen by casting the correct vote. So the next time you are upto some task, just say “yes, I can because I believe in myself.

Sense of Freedom

The most crucial component of a relationship is feelings. These feelings are always at play no matter what type of relationship you share with different individual. This also gives us a clue about one element that is often ignored. And that element is as an individuals we possess very little self determination and control. It does not feel good to realize this truth but then ponder over this fact. Where is freedom? Our freedom goes for a toss when someone doesn’t react in an anticipated way. Words or looks from others make us feel happy or sad then is that really indicative of freedom? Where is the freedom when you have just returned from achieving something big and then people around you nullify that sense of achievement and all you are left with is sense of despondency? Where does freedom exist when success of your colleague or neighbor make you feel envious? No, that is not freedom.

In reality, we are never free because of the pull and push equation of different relationships in our lives. People around us determine our moods and motives. Not many of us give this fact a thought but probably reality bites. So what should we do? How can we get rid of feeling of attraction and repulsion and yet maintain the inner love. Don’t we have rights to remain free as in real value of the word? Shouldn’t we must be able to relate to others in freedom. That will provide us much needed balance in any sort of situation. Our primary aim should be to remain our own person with world in general!

Agony of Love

Now that we know the concept of relationships, how should we make relationships the source of joy and happiness? Can we replace rage, tension and grief that quite often emerge out of relationships, with happiness and peace? We all have relationships with different people in our lives like parents, siblings, friends, lover, colleagues, boss or teachers etc. Quite often we manipulate them or vice versa, bully or being bullied etc but one feeling is common and that is of helplessness. Rather call it dependence on others for our happiness.

Most of us have already experienced the beautiful feeling of love. Ever wondered what actually happens when you are in love? One single person starts affecting our lives so strongly. He or she becomes the single biggest source for our happiness. We try our best to please that person, to be with him/her, to be loved by the person and all these for what? To see the relationship last long! This one relationship makes us aware of a wide gamut of emotions including, love, joy, affection, tension, grief, pity, rage, excitement and frustration etc.

Now think about it! In reality you are in a love relationship and yet what you experience is pain. See the irony! So when pain has become such integral part of the love, did it remain love? How can it be? So what exactly we start experiencing? Well, it’s nothing but play of our imagination and needs of our own ego! What had started as love is no longer love but just fulfillment of our desires and our ego! Think about it!